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Wish i could have had a warning
Wish I could have had a warning.
Before I left university I developed agoraphobia. I was
absolutely terrified to go to lectures and to be away from home. The one thing
that sticks in my mind is being told by someone that they wish that I would
have warned them I could get this bad. Now for their own privacy I won’t mention
their relationship to me. All I will say to their comment is… me too. I wish I had
known that my disabilities would disable me…strange, I know. Not every autistic
person knows what is going to happen (a lot of us are mind readers I know, kidding) and
to expect that from them isn’t fair. I recognise now that my behaviour must
have been distressing for them but it was for me too. Just like this person I didn’t
know what was going on, I didn’t know I could get myself into a state that
meant I couldn’t leave my home.
All I can say to someone going through the same thing I have
with my anxieties is…
Its not your fault, you didn’t choose to struggle the way
you do, and you shouldn’t have to be around anyone who makes you feel bad about
yourself.
And for someone who’s loved one is going through this…
Be kind. Not only to them but yourself, it can be incredibly
frustrating and upsetting to witness but you are doing your best with what you
know.
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